I am taking today to do so.
I am fascinated by the many layers of understanding of the yoga therapy concepts and applications. Just when I think I’ve got them my body goes and does something (like be in more pain) and then I am re-learning. Again, I hear Susi in the back of my mind telling me something about being ok with the unknown and letting my body embody the mystery…. No matter how hard I try, I will never have control completely over my body – this process is not about demystifying… the opposite is true.
So this being said, I am in a bit of a bad mood. I’m not a fan of pain, and my previous strategies would be to tense, strengthen, and get down on myself for not having done this enough… I know this doesn’t work. I am a house of cards…. Tension under strength, and then perhaps another layer of tension… Take it from me, this is not sustainable. I’m lost without my default pattern, taking mindful care to know that a new one must be established – this is hard work, physically but especially mentally. It is interesting that as I am resetting my patterns and unraveling my compensations which kept me upright, I’m feeling the pain… but really this is the pain that has always been there under the surface. I am committed to healing; therefore, I have to go deeper, feel my body, resist taking a Tylenol, and explore appropriately.
I am exploring the mind body connection today – or I’ll say that it is coming up. I’m overwhelmed and generally on the lower end of the mood scale and guess what, I can feel my back. So that concept of thinking positively to facilitate faster healing is being challenged here. I have a choice to make. I can feel like crap or I can decide to be excited about the journey. Which one will contribute to my healing quicker? I’ll give you one guess, and I am on board. Even as I write this I feel lighter, my eyes have opened a little wider, my back is not pulsing quite so much… hmmmm…. See I have always known this, but I feel like yet another layer has been uncovered. I am a very large onion when it comes to this subject (and perhaps others, but that is another conversation)
My yoga today: I went to a hatha class. I don’t think I have ever moved so precisely and slowly. And you know what… I was sweating. Pain free range of motion (or that in which my back didn’t get worse) – check, move as purely as possible – check (Susi would have been so proud of my prayer twist, it took me forever to get into purely – obliques, shoulder blades, add arms last, don’t force), easy smooth breath – check (I grip into ujjayi far too easily). How do I feel? Yummy. I was able to release some of the negative energy surrounding my thoughts of how my body “ought to feel” and get into the reality of what my body is really feeling.
My yoga therapy practice: block and strap, knee drops, pelvic floor exercises, marching, ankle to knee, sunrise/sunset, cat/cow, table top + arms and then legs.
Pain/tension assessment pre practice: back 3/10 pain, tension in back 2/10
Post practice assessment: back 1/10, tension 0/10!
Coolest thing about practice today was that I’ve progressed! My knee drops are more and I can march on the spot with a quiet pelvis… ooohhh its working! I’m in a better mood now…!
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